Letter to a 20 year old me

My dearest Ana,

I am writing  this to you  as a 30 year old. Yep, a thirty year old woman. Ha, woman! All grown up and and still on a mission to conquer the world. Stronger and braver than ever, I’d say.

But we both know it wasn’t always like this. And brace yourself because, for you, things are gonna get much harder.

But trust me when I say hard is good. Hard keeps you going. Hard makes you stronger. And after many, many tears you are about to cry, after hundreds of hours lying awake thinking about where are you going in your life and if you are even going anywhere, a little female warrior will be born in you and you will continue to fight for yourself decisively. Over and over again. Because that is what fighters do. You don’t know it yet, but that is what you are. However, before you reach the magical land of independence and bravery, I will take the opportunity of joining the 30 club to tell you some things you are obviously still clueless about. I know you won’t listen to me, but hey…

View of the beautiful resort and Red Sea
Writing my blog on a balcony of my room in Sharm El Sheikh, by the Red Sea.

Everything you do in life, do it for yourself and because you want to. It is your life. Not your mom’s, not your best friend’s. Only person you ever need to impress is you. All the others will follow. Whatever you decide, make sure it makes you happy. Do not accept any pressure put upon you.

God, you will make crazy amount of mistakes. And when you make one, make sure it is your mistake. In fact, mistakes are very precious. Appreciate them as they are your opportunity to learn and to grow.

Learn from your mistakes

Chose your men wisely. Now, in this department, you are gonna be ridiculously stupid. Retarded, I’d even say. Even after you find ways to forgive yourself mistakes and poor choices you have made, this one will still be a pet peeve that you will probably never gonna be able to let go.  And partially, you are right to be so hard on yourself. Let me tell you why. Bad men are pure waste of time (sometimes they are even waste of skin, and these will be your type in years to come). Unfortunately, time is something you can never get back. So try to learn how to love yourself and make yourself happy rather than others. No, it is not selfish and you are still beautiful and worthy, even if you are single.

Invest in yourself.   Not in things. Things do not make you happy. If they did, you would be happy now. Invest In your education, in foreign languages, in a good hairdresser. Last one will make you feel like a superstar in your worst times. Soooo important. But most of all, invest your time in yourself. Do not spend days doing things that make others happy, just because they let you think you are obligated to do so. True friends and valuable family members will be happy when you are happy and they will support your choices. These are the people you wanna hold on to. Other ones can easily f… off. You don’t lose anything by losing them. Actually, you win.

View of pyramids. Mind blowing.
So this happened yesterday. Amazing view.

Stop being scared.  Right now you are a young and delicate flower. And it is okay to get scared. Listen to me: I want you to know that IT IS OK. Fear is very human. Just don’t hold on to it and use it as an excuse. Because that will stop you from giving to the world best of you. Pitty, pitty.

Travel. I know right now you think you have better stuff to do. You are super wrong. Because right now, everything you do, you end up questioning again and again. Not what you want to be doing. You need to get out, open your eyes and open your mind. And by learning about the world out there, you will learn about  who you are. This cognition will be the most empowering thing you will ever experience.

My dearest Ana, today I am 30. Wow. Can you even imagine? Thirty candles to blow. Four amazing years of being myself and almost four years of travelling. Four years of stories. My life doesn’t look as I have imagined it ten years ago. Because back then I was too scared to dream big. Yet, here I am, sitting in a beach bar in south of Egypt, right by the Red sea. Living it to the fullest, chasing one dream after another and being what I have always wanted to be… I am being me.

2 thoughts on “Letter to a 20 year old me

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *